As per National Crime Record Bureau (NCRB), over 13000 students died by suicide in 2021 in India and this number is rapidly increasing every year. The report shows that 20-30 % of the students died after failing the ‘examination’.
The question is why are the students under so much pressure?
The answer is their parents made them so.
No doubt, parenting is challenging because it’s a responsibility that needs dedication and too much effort every time. Parenting is not a task that is done once in a while. Once someone becomes a parent, it turns out to be a full-time job that you have to perform perfectly no matter what it costs. It may cost your comfort, your dreams, or anything else. See, there are always negatives and positives of each and everything. Becoming a parent and raising a kid is also one of them. When we talk about Indian parenting, It is considered authoritarian.
Why is Indian parenting considered authoritarian?
- Indian parents want to control each and every activity of their children by taking all the decisions for their children by themselves.
- Indian parents don’t accept the failure of their kids and start torturing their kids mentally and physically which can cause mental trauma in the mind of their child which never lasts.
- Indian parents compare their children with others a lot. They don’t even care how negatively it can affect their kids. They don’t understand that their kid is good at something else and everyone has some strengths and weaknesses. Some can be good in academics and others may be sports or in arts.
- Indian society is judgemental and because of that, parents are always under pressure and don’t let their kids do anything out of the box. One of the best examples is Parents are criticized by society if their kids are above 25 and unmarried, So Parents start putting more pressure on their kids to get married soon, no matter if it ends up well or not in the future.
- They dedicate their whole life to their kids and forget to prioritize their own needs.
- One of the worst things about Indian parenting is that Indians punish their kids by beating them physically. They think that this is the best way to give a lesson on doing bad things.
- They are very strict when it comes to academics. They pressure their kid to study more so that he or she can compete with others. They put a lot of pressure on their kids. Sometimes it ends up with suicide by a student in India.
- They are very rigid about their principles and it hurts them when their children try to go outside their circle of principles. Love marriage is considered bad in most of India and Parents don’t support it if their kids take the decision to get married to someone of their own choice.
- The way they raise their daughter and son is quite different. Parents give more freedom to their sons, unlike their daughters. Even in some places of India, higher education is given to sons only because they consider it an investment. So it negatively impacts both daughter and son. Male kids will think that he is the only important person in their family and he is special and female kids will always feel inferior their whole life.
- Indian kids are always considered to obey their elders and they can’t question any decision of elders whether it is wrong or right.
- One of the worst things about Indian parents is that they don’t know that it is bad to insult their kid publicly. To embarrass your kid in public is not gonna teach any lesson to your kid.it will just break his or her confidence.
- Indian parents always teach their kids to win but never tell them how to deal with failure. It results in raising a number of suicide and mental health issues among youngsters.
- There is a lack of communication. Parents always show that they are strong enough to deal with problems and they never share their problems with their children. They find it useless to share problems with their children and even they don’t give importance to their children’s advice. On the other hand, children don’t share their situation with what they are going through because they are scared that they will be judged.
- It is one of the factors of wrong parenting that parents don’t apologize even when they’re wrong. It’s a kind of tradition that parents are not supposed to say sorry because they are older.
What can Indian parents learn from Western parents?
It’s high time for parents to understand and accept the things they are doing in parenting and how they can change themselves to be better parents in raising the upcoming generation.
India has become an IT hub in a few years and it produces a high number of engineers. There are a few other fields in which the new generation is rocking. But not all stories end well. If we talk about how many youngsters are happy and satisfied, the number is very low. One of the common causes is bad parenting. An open sky should be offered to a kid to grow which is lacking in Indian society. There are some points that can be adopted by Indian parents for the better raising of their kids.
In Western counties, the situation is completely different. They raise their kid in such a way that their kid can become more competitive, more confident, and more happy. They are raised in an environment where they know how to deal with failure, where they know how to choose a career, and where they know in what direction they have to go.
Things Indian parenting needs to Amend are :
- Indian parents need to stop being overprotective every time. Kids need to make their decision by themselves. It helps in the mental growth of kids when they make decisions like choosing their company to play with, their subject to study, and even their career. Indian parents let their kids fight their own battles by themselves. Ti eventually makes them strong.
- Indian parents should give more time to their kids to play with, to make more engagement with stuff which their kids like to do. It would be going out with them, talking about superheroes and sometimes it would be about the relationships youngsters are having. Indian parents are busy with their phones so they need to reduce screen time so that they will be able to give more time to their kids.
- Western parents don’t compare their kids with other kids. It is the most important thing Indian parents can learn from them. In India, kids are always being compared with mausi ki beti, Sharma ji ka ladka, bua ka beta n all.
- Indian kids always have to compromise with their dreams because their parents care about “ chaar log kya Kahenge”. It needs to be stopped and Indian parents need to learn how to ignore society by Western parents.
- Western parents don’t hurt their kids physically. Even in school also, children are not beaten unlike in India.
- Good communication makes a relationship better and it can be a game changer in relation to parents-kids. Indian parents need to be as good listeners as Western parents. In Western countries, children can share each and every problem with their parents without fear of being judged.
A message to Indian parents.
Don’t ruin the childhood of your kids because the same thing has happened to you. I know it’s a loop, and you also suffered the same thing in your childhood. Break this loop and provide a better world for your kid. They are innocent. They are not meant to hold such societal pressure.
Your kids don’t care what society thinks about them but they care what you think about them. Stop being harsh to them because they are already going through a lot. Try to support them in their decisions.